Tomorrow I fly out of Darfur for 10 days.
The last six weeks has felt like six months. Literally.
I was warned this would happen, by experienced colleagues.
They warned, that as time goes on, living in this kind of warped environment, this twisted, unnatural situation, that the stretches between breaks would feel longer and longer..
Harder and harder. Despite remaining at six weeks.
And how right they turned out to be.
After five months working in South Darfur, with an unchanged security situation, I am almost at the end of my tether.
I need to walk outside, alone, freely.
To make a spontaneous decision about what to do after work.
I want to have dinner with people I did not spend all day with in the office.
I want to not have to notify the guy in the radio-room of my presence every night between 6-7pm.
I want to have a conversation that does not involve international peace talks, food rations, trade sanctions or complaints about incapable, under-resourced NGOs.
I want to go for a run.
But mostly...
I want to see the ocean.
I want to be in the sea.
And so...
That is exactly what I am going to do.
The Red Sea, to be specific.
With an oxygen tank and a dive buddy that happens to be my most favourite person on the planet.
So hopefully, when I return to you, to share my stories, they will not be infused with fatigue, frustration and cynicism.
Inshallah, I will be fresh and energised and hopeful.
Until then, stay safe and happy.
xx Olivia.
“Our battered suitcases were piled on the sidewalk again; we had longer ways to go.
But no matter, the road is life.”
Jack Kerouac
Namibia 2010. Last time I saw the ocean...
