Innocence

We have been having a few conversations about innocence around here of late...

I have been interested to observe several peoples opinions on what quantifies innocence, how it differs from naivety and the belief that it is merely a facade people use to avoid confrontation and judgement. 

And I just read these words from Osho and really liked them. 

In existence there is nobody who is superior and nobody who is inferior. The blade of grass and the great star are absolutely equal...

But man wants to be higher than others, he wants to conquer nature, hence he has to fight continuously. All complexity arises out of this fight. The innocent person is one who has renounced fighting; who is no longer interested in being higher, who is no longer interested in performing, in proving that he is someone special; who has become like a roseflower or like a dewdrop on the lotus leaf; who has become part of this infinity; who has melted, merged and become one with the ocean and is just a wave; who has no idea of the 'I'. 
The disappearance of the 'I' is innocence. 

'One seed makes the whole earth green' - Osho

Return to Kalma

Well we finally got back into Kalma camp today. 

After 7 weeks of not being able to enter and assess the situation, let alone distribute food, it felt really good to be there.  It felt good to be on the ground, assisting these people, who are the innocent ones suffering the political games that the big men play. 

I spent the last five hours there, moving around, overseeing my vouchers, overseeing food, seeing people clearly happy to be receiving food on this last day of Ramadan - the day before the most important holiday of the year - Eid ul Fitr. 

Knowing that they will now be more comfortable during this period is such a relief. 

Some days, I really Love my job. 

"How hard it is to escape from places.

However carefully one goes they hold you - 

you leave little bits of yourself fluttering on the fences - 

like rags and shreds of your very life".

~

I find so much truth in these words of the New Zealand writer, Katherine Mansfield. The words take me back to al those places where I am left, fluttering..

Kagbeni, 2007

my mother, Kosciuszko, 1975.

Samia

Khartoum asked me to interview one of our beneficiaries about the milling vouchers and get some feedback and send them a photo.  This is how I met the beautiful Samia Mohammed - lining up on distribution day for her family of seven. Isn't she beautiful? She was shy at first.. then when I kept looking back at her and smiling she finally let go, and cracked open a radiant, amazing smile for me. I will never cease to be in awe of the beauty of the women of Darfur. They are desert flowers and lift my day as soon as I see them going about the camps, working hard but always beautiful. They too give me hope.

The Wet

In Far North Australia, we only have two seasons, with two simple names:  The Wet and The Dry.

I am blessed to be here, witnessing the Darfur rainy season.

 I am surrounded by transformation on a daily basis with the afternoon storms, that I watch longingly from the roof of our house, as the thunder-heads roll in.

And there is also a slow, gradual transformation I am enjoying - the greening of the desert.  I look down on it as I fly East,  to Ed Daein and Gereida.  I see a colour that I know as Africa Green. I see healthy crops and the wadi's pulsing with life.   This seasons harvest will be good. Better than the last few years.  And for this I am hopeful and thankful.